Sometimes I am overwhelmed.

It’s crazy when I think about it. Not three years ago I was a broken man. I was hopeless. I was in a marriage that was ending with someone I loved very much but could no longer live with due to a number of things. That is not the point though. She is not an evil person and neither am I.

What I think is crazy is, that if you had asked me three years ago, what I thought the future held for me…I would have said pain and sorrow. I was convinced that life was just a constant recycling of the same actions that got you nowhere.

Well, I realize now that is so untrue. I went from overwhelming grief to overwhelming joy in a matter of a few years. I am overcome with emotion. The full range of them. Some of them I am having to deal with for the first time in a long time and it feels really strange.

Day by day though I learn. One step at a time. When I feel something strongly I take a step back and assess where those feelings are coming from and try to figure out what to do with them.

Yes, that is right, the advice columnist is human and has issues of his own :-). thankfully though, the universe planned for me to be able to deal with the extreme emotions I feel by being equally as logical which allows me to take that step back and assess.

Don’t get me wrong it is not an easy thing to do but in nearly 40 years I think I have the hang of it.

All in all it has been worth it. I have learned to appreciate every emotion for exactly what it is…yet another small piece of the very complicated puzzle that makes me…well…me!

Peace, love and happiness always,


The theory of Narcissistic reality!!

**EDIT 1-1-2015…please take the time to read this¬†after reading the following article. Important clarification resides within.**

In my coming book “The Universe in Macrovision: How to transform everything…relatively.” I talk about the theory of narcissistic reality.

I developed this theory…unknowingly…through the entirety of my life experiences and now I would like to share it with you.

First, to understand the theory, you have to take a step back and divorce yourself from the negative connotation of the word narcissism. Admittedly, the dictionary paints a very bleak definition of the word but I beg to differ.

What makes narcissistic reality theory, not a negative thing is the fact that it is a biological and logical defense mechanism.

Let me start by saying that due to the ways of the world and society in general, most, if not all of us who live in developed nations are forced into narcissistic realities. Again, everything and everyone has one.

From the ground you walk on to the buildings around you. From the plants, trees, and air to the people, animals, and machines you interact with, everything has a narcissistic reality.

Narcissistic reality ends at the edge of your sensory perception. So in short, to describe the physical boundaries of a narcissistic reality you could lay a piece of paper flat on a table. Put a dot on the paper for every single thing that exists and draw a circle around it to denote where its sensory perception ends.

For example, if it is a building, its sensory perception would end at its walls. The building cannot directly experience anything that does not touch it so that is where its NR ends. Are you following me here?

So for a human being a NR would end where your sense of sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste end.

Now if you take a step back and hover over the paper you just drew on in your mind, you will see that all of those NR circles are constantly overlapping the NR circles of other things, people, animals, plants, etc.

In fact, you have literally tens of thousands of NR interactions with animate and inanimate objects every single day.

Why do we live in these? How is this a defense mechanism? It sounds to me like you are just describing everyday life.

Indeed I am but here is where the theory comes in. NR is a defense mechanism that we, humans, create to help us deal with the unbelievable volume of information we are presented with every day.

Our bodies, and minds were not built to absorb and categorize the sheer volume of information we are presented with. If we remembered and processed every single piece of information we had access to and were exposed to every day, we would go insane.

Enter NR. In order for us to deal with our lives and the current state of society we tend to, as a defense mechanism, retreat into our NR. If it does not happen within range of our sensory perception, we simply cannot and do not think about it.

Simply put, anyone living in a modern developed society is suffering from information overload.

Here is the good news though. This defense mechanism actually makes it very easy for us to break this mold. For us to reach inside, find the best in ourselves, and overcome. Every single one of us has the ability to reach beyond our NR and grasp the humanity that we seem to be losing so rapidly.

NR makes it very easy for you to realize and change your behavior. NR makes it very simple for you to fall in love with the world again. For you feel the magic in the air around you like you did when you were five.

The answer is simple, remember that every single thing you do during every second of the day is an NR interaction. Each of those NR interactions, even if only a split second long can have lasting and profound effects on the entity you are interacting with.

If you step on a plant, it is an instantaneous and short NR interaction but it does lasting, permanent and catastrophic damage to the plant you stepped on. If you pull the plastic tabs off a 6 pack and throw them down it could get caught around the neck of a bird and kill it. If you give a homeless man a dollar it just might be the one act of kindness that keeps him from doing something drastic that evening. If you help a friend when they are in need it might just be the one interaction that keeps them from losing faith in humanity.

In short the blessing behind narcissistic reality theory is, it gives you a way to think about each and every interaction one at a time and gives you the opportunity to make a choice about who you want to be not only for yourself but for the world around you. All you have to do is treat every single one of those NR interactions with respect.

That does not mean you have to actively think about every footstep, what it means is, the next time you go to drop a cigarette butt, think about the NR interaction you are about to have and that the respectful interaction would be to place that butt in the trash.

In short, start with one a day, try to change on NR interaction a day to something more respectful. You will find over time you do it more and more often because it feels good. It sends you home knowing that the world is a tiny bit better because you took the time to realize everything has a life and a history and you made an active effort to be respectful of that.

Mark my words, this will change your outlook on life, the world, and everyone/everything in it. The change won’t happen over night, it will be slow but I promise it will be ever so satisfying.

Peace, love and happiness always,


What is a romantic relationship?

This is a question I have been asked many times over the last three years. The question usually comes in many forms. “How would you describe a relationship?” or “What does a relationship mean to you?”. In all of these cases the subject was romantic relationships so that is what I am going to talk about.

I think of a romantic relationship as if I was a mythical beast, impervious to anything and everything. I can only be harmed by one thing…this magic sword. When I am in a romantic relationship I give the magic sword…the only thing that can hurt me…to my partner with the understanding that I trust them not to use it to hurt or mame me.

I also look at a romantic relationship as if my partner was doing the same with me. I cherish their sword…the key to their heart. I lock it away in a safe place and carry it with me wherever I go as a reminder to never get involved with anything that would hurt them.

I do my best to not wield the sword. Sure, I have weak moments and screw up, we all do. The point is, I have been given this weapon that can destroy another human being and I choose not to use it.

This is, when you get down to it, the basic description of a partnership. Let’s be honest, a relationship, romantic or not, is a partnership and the only way a partnership can survive is with mutual respect, and proper communication.

Now when you add the word romantic, in my mind, you are adding sharing. Sharing of your most intimate details. Sharing of the mind, the body, and the heart. You are opening yourself to another. Letting them see not only the good, not only the benevolent, not only the loving but also the hurt, the damage, the bad, the ugly and allowing them to accept it as a part of you.

Only when you truly open yourself to another. Only when you truly show them who you really are, share your triumphs and failures, share your fears and courage, your tastes and distastes and give your partner the chance to accept them, can you experience true love.

And that folks, is how I define a romantic relationship. A partnership between two people that consists of trust, respect, loyalty, communication, acceptance and love. When you find all those things in a partner, and that partner brings those things out in you…hang onto them, tightly, and make sure they know how much you love and appreciate them.

Peace, love, and happiness always,


Welcome to my blog!!

Hi, I am Kaspr Goodman and you have found my blog. My home on the web so to speak.


A couple of years ago I set out on a journey to rediscover happiness. It had been so long since I had felt real happiness, I was not sure I would ever find it again. I had actually forgotten what true joy felt like.

I spent a lot of years in emotional pain, then I spent quite a few more completely shut down. It was the only way I could survive the horrors of everyday life and continue to push forward no matter what life threw at me.

I have spent the last three years learning who I am, what I love, what my boundaries are, and how to experience happiness. It has been a long journey, and I still have quite the road ahead of me but I have finally regained my happiness. I have finally learned who I am and have come to accept my strengths and weaknesses as things that are part of what defines “me” instead of things that describe me.

By writing this blog, my book, and answering questions for the masses it is my sincerest hope that I can inject love, happiness, compassion, and care back into the world by helping others be as happy with their lives and all the things that happen in them as I am with mine.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I am really looking forward to growing together with you over the foreseeable future.

Peace, love and happiness always,