This is an important subject I felt it was important to write about. One of the things I am the most touchy about is feeling like I am being told how to feel.
It is very easy to tell someone how to feel. Most of us do not realize we are even doing it. We do things like telling people not to feel bad when something goes wrong or telling them to “just let it go” when they are venting or trying to externalize the negative emotions they are feeling.
We should ALL be making a conscious effort to NEVER tell anyone how to feel. This does not mean you can’t suggest things like letting go. It doesn’t mean you can’t suggest better states of mind and offer help to getting there.
What it DOES mean is you should not “tell” people how to feel. Don’t tell people to smile, don’t tell people to just let go, don’t tell people not to be hurt, angry, sad, happy, joyous, annoyed or any other emotion.
People feel emotions for a reason. Some are to protect us, some are to make us do things, and others are just there to enhance how we interact with the world and help us to reason. Things like compassion help us to do wonderful things for other people.
Whoever you are dealing with that is feeling whatever you are seeing is feeling those feelings for a reason. Maybe something bad happened, maybe something good happened. Maybe they set up a project and it is not going to plan so they are annoyed or frustrated.
The best thing you can do for someone who is feeling emotions that you feel you need to help them deal with is to let them experience them and just stand by them to help catch them when they fall.
I can tell you this, one of the fastest ways to piss someone off and ruin a relationship of any sort romantic or otherwise is make the person you care about feel like you are dictating who they are and how they should feel.
Just be mindful, listen to the things you say and pay attention to the things you do when you are helping others try to deal with emotions. Both of you will be much happier because of it.
Peace, love, and happiness always,