Honestly, I have really been getting tired of reading about how life revolves around burning man for two months. No offense to my friends, many of whom are the quintessential burners. I am talking before ticket sales longevity.
For this reason I figured starting today I would lay off of Facebook for a while so as to avoid reading about it. It just gets daunting you know?
Well, I failed at that and out of habit jumped on Facebook today. That was my first mistake. The second was reading meme photos. I am so damned analytical that automagically, when I see something that is false, and I can prove it is false, I jump in.
Well I jumped in today and got drawn into an argument. I am not proud of myself right now. I resorted to my usual, masterful (if I do say so myself), and very effective method of debating. As usually happens, after a bit, the person I was arguing with began to implode and started hurling personal insults. I made a mistake and allowed myself to be drawn in.
I won’t go into details but out of weakness, I resorted to insulting the person. Hindsight being 20/20, I am ashamed I did this. This is not me. I know better.
I know people do things because of what has happened to them. Rarely is malevolence the cause, though it does happen and does exist. Hurt people, hurt people and for a moment I forgot this. Instead of looking on this person with compassion and sympathy, I once again chose anger and overpowering. I thought I left that guy behind a long time ago.
How am I supposed to teach anyone anything when I can’t even follow my own advice?
The truth is, the only time we truly fail, is when we refuse to recognize and take responsibility for our actions. The only time we truly lose our humanity is when we give in to our ego and start keeping score again. This person acting out of anger and hurt towards me says nothing about me, my opinion, or who I am. I need to do a better job of remembering that and remembering to take into account that the other person must have had a rough life too. I know that is why *I* used to behave that way.
I decided to do the right thing and though the argument was long over, I finished it with the following comment directed at the person I was arguing with:
You know, I have given it some thought. Someone or something obviously hurt you to make you act this way. I consider ***** a close friend and I would never do anything to hurt him. In fact, I would defend him with my last blow if I had to. If you have a pile of federal legal shit on you then by proxy, by reporting what you did, I hurt him.For those two reasons I am going to do the right thing here and just leave this here.I am not going to preach or try to make any points. I don’t need or want you to agree with me, you are entitled to your opinion.What I am going to do is tell you I wish you the best in all of your future endeavors and hope that you find inner peace.My apologies for the insults. That is not who I am and I had a weak moment. There is no excuse for that. I should have kept my calm demeanor and not unleashed on you.Take care of yourself and I wish you the best in everything you do.Peace, love and happiness,K