Today I failed…

Honestly, I have really been getting tired of reading about how life revolves around burning man for two months. No offense to my friends, many of whom are the quintessential burners. I am talking before ticket sales longevity.

For this reason I figured starting today I would lay off of Facebook for a while so as to avoid reading about it. It just gets daunting you know?

Well, I failed at that and out of habit jumped on Facebook today. That was my first mistake. The second was reading meme photos. I am so damned analytical that automagically, when I see something that is false, and I can prove it is false, I jump in.

Well I jumped in today and got drawn into an argument. I am not proud of myself right now. I resorted to my usual, masterful (if I do say so myself), and very effective method of debating. As usually happens, after a bit, the person I was arguing with began to implode and started hurling personal insults. I made a mistake and allowed myself to be drawn in.

I won’t go into details but out of weakness, I resorted to insulting the person. Hindsight being 20/20, I am ashamed I did this. This is not me. I know better.

I know people do things because of what has happened to them. Rarely is malevolence the cause, though it does happen and does exist. Hurt people, hurt people and for a moment I forgot this. Instead of looking on this person with compassion and sympathy, I once again chose anger and overpowering. I thought I left that guy behind a long time ago.

How am I supposed to teach anyone anything when I can’t even follow my own advice?

The truth is, the only time we truly fail, is when we refuse to recognize and take responsibility for our actions. The only time we truly lose our humanity is when we give in to our ego and start keeping score again. This person acting out of anger and hurt towards me says nothing about me, my opinion, or who I am. I need to do a better job of remembering that and remembering to take into account that the other person must have had a rough life too. I know that is why *I* used to behave that way.

I decided to do the right thing and though the argument was long over, I finished it with the following comment directed at the person I was arguing with:

 

You know, I have given it some thought. Someone or something obviously hurt you to make you act this way. I consider ***** a close friend and I would never do anything to hurt him. In fact, I would defend him with my last blow if I had to. If you have a pile of federal legal shit on you then by proxy, by reporting what you did, I hurt him.
 
For those two reasons I am going to do the right thing here and just leave this here.
 
I am not going to preach or try to make any points. I don’t need or want you to agree with me, you are entitled to your opinion.
 
What I am going to do is tell you I wish you the best in all of your future endeavors and hope that you find inner peace.
 
My apologies for the insults. That is not who I am and I had a weak moment. There is no excuse for that. I should have kept my calm demeanor and not unleashed on you.
 
Take care of yourself and I wish you the best in everything you do.
 
Peace, love and happiness,
 
K
Folks, the best piece of advice I have ever given you is about to come. Please, I beg you, take it to heart and use them as words to live by. If we all do this, the world will be a much happier and more loving place. Here is the advice:
It is never too late to remember who you are and take responsibility for your actions. No matter how unpleasant that may be, living with knowing that you hurt someone else is going to hurt you in the long run. Remember, hurt people, hurt people and we all act out from time to time.
I hope everyone is able to find that place that allows them to remember all of our humanity, stop keeping score, and be happy.
Peace, love, and happiness always,
K

 

There absolutely is evil in the world…

don’t succumb to it. I had a wonderful conversation with a gentleman I met on Facebook today. I was looking through things on my news feed and I saw a photo with a skull in it that caught my eye. I read the meme text in the photo and out of the corner of my eye saw a discussion about dark souls.

The exact wording of the comment makes no difference for the purposes of this story. What does make a difference though was that the response to the comment was someone saying they do not believe there is such a thing as a dark soul.

This person believes all souls are good. Well, for those of you that know me you know this is the type of thing I have to jump in on. Those of you who know me well or read my writing often know that I firmly believe that the very second you use the word all or the word every to describe something you are almost always wrong.

Well when I jumped into the conversation I explained that our very reality is held together not only by positive forces but by negative ones as well and to deny the existence of the negative was in my opinion ludicrous or equivalent to walking through life with blinders on.

We had a very polite discourse over the existence of evil souls. I explained to him that I had experienced it first hand through a very close personal relationship I have.

Over the course of the conversation we were able to express respect for each other’s viewpoint and finally found that we agree, no matter what our beliefs are, that the world would be a much better place if we concentrated on loving as much as we can as opposed to hating and being fearful.

I have digressed from the major point of my piece now. I will attempt to return to my point.

There sure as hell is evil in the world. To deny it is simply ludicrous. Unfortunately, for us to have the insanely beautiful and benevolent, we must have the insanely evil and malevolent. There just is no way around it. This is called the universal balance and it governs all things. I will write another piece on this another time.

The trick is to not let the existence of the malevolent create fear and hate in us. We need to accept that it exists, that it is a part of life and be aware that it is out there.

That does not mean we should or need to live our lives looking for it. In fact we should do exactly the opposite. The only way for us to beat the hate is to refuse to live in fear. We can take the power away.

How do we do that? By loving everything. By loving ourselves, the world around us, and yes, even the evil that exists. We need to work toward appreciating the evil/negative. If we learn to appreciate the negative experience for what it is, the balance of beauty, then we can begin to lead a happier life.

Don’t deny the negative exists, try to experience when it arrives, appreciate it for what it is and turn the energy it creates into something positive. You can use that negative experience as a reminder not cause that same experience in others.

I think it is also important to note that we should NEVER deny that the negative exists to anyone who tells us it does. This is overwriting their experience and denying them their feelings. Imagine for a moment what it feels like to be told you did not experience something you know you did. Personally, I have had a lot of things I experienced denied to me. It feels terrible to have your experiences overwritten and to be told what you did feel or how you should feel.

Just remember, that acknowledging the existence of the negative does not mean you have to succumb to it or be fearful of it. It actually moves you toward acceptance and using the negative energy to accomplish good by being the change you would like to see in the world.

 

Peace, love, and happiness always,

 

K