Ashamed to be human

I don’t want to live in a world where people do things purposely to hurt others. This shit has GOT TO STOP!! Let me tell you a story.

I did not get permission to talk about the person I am going to write about so I will call her Nicole. I was talking to Nicole on the phone and she told me one of the most horrible things I have ever heard.

She is not in good health so she spends a lot of time in the house. Unfortunately she is not able to work so she lives with her parents. It was Sunday and her parents went to church as they always do. They came home and a little later there was a knock at the door. Her brother and his in-laws had come over. Her brother lost his wife a number of years ago but continues his relationship with his deceased wife’s family.

Nicole usually stays in her room and avoids her family. They are terrible, toxic people. On Sunday, her Dad managed to lure her out of the room. She was in the living room with them and after a few minutes, her father starts to put her down in front of everyone. He told them she was a disappointment, a loser, and a waste of life. Keep in mind, this is less than two hours after they left church.

Nicole started bawling her eyes out and ran out of the room crying. I spent a fair amount of time on the phone with Nicole trying to calm her down and reassuring her that he was just an asshole and none of it was true.

That has to be one of the most terrible things I have ever heard. This reprehensible behavior made me ashamed to be human. I apologized to Nicole and reminded her that if there are people that awful there must be people equally as awesome.

This shit has got to stop now. I no longer want to live in a world where people do things to hurt others maliciously. What possible reason could there be for doing something like that other than being a complete and total asshole?

A friend asked me recently what word I would want to be remembered by at the end of my life. I was indeed able to answer quickly, in a single word: compassion.

People, we have got to stop this shit. If we do not make the conscious choice, right now, to start treating everyone and everything with compassion then we are lost. Humanity is without hope. There is no way we can fix our problems as humans and as a society without starting to show compassion to everyone and everything.

We particularly need to show compassion to those who anger us, hurt us, disagree with us, or in general rub us the wrong way.

Remember, everyone does everything they do for a reason. It may not be a reason you agree with or a reason you like but you absolutely should take a moment and step back and try to imagine what it is is like to be them, not in the biased way we think they are thinking but really try to take their side for a moment. I think you will find that it is much easier to understand why people do the things they do when you truly try to look at things from their point of view.

I am not saying this is going to make everything all right. I am not saying this is going to make everything better. Sometimes you might end up drawing the conclusion that they are just evil, pure and simple, or it was just bad luck.

There is no arguing this point. This is reality and what I am saying is an axiom. Without compassion we are doomed. The next time you want to lash out, the next time something you hate makes you angry, take a moment and ask yourself why their behavior is what it is.

I am not sure I will ever be able to make sense of a parent who does things deliberately to hurt their child. To me this is one of those times I end up coming to the conclusion that they are evil. I know her father’s history and there are indeed things in it that cause him to act that way. His father used to hold him down and torment him. What I do not understand is being so loveless and heartless that you would perpetuate that to your child.

I guess some people are just weak-minded or do not have the strength to overcome the things that have happened to them. I guess it is foreign to me because I actively choose to never make people feel the way I had been made to feel by the people who have hurt me in my life.

Remember, people, love and compassion are the only way we are going to heal ourselves, our society, each other and our environment.

Every single one of us needs to make the choice, this very second, to actively show compassion to everyone and everything around us. We need to decide to show the people we care about that we care. You never know how a single smile could change a life.

I read a story the other day that touched me. I don’t remember the specifics, but there was a young lady who always seemed to drive when her and her boyfriend would go out. She thought it was strange that he would look around and smile at everyone he could. Some people liked it and smiled back, others thought it was strange and rolled their eyes. He would smile at everyone in the restaurant, literally everyone he would get near.

She thought it was a kind of strange and one day decided to ask him about it. His answer was that he had read a study that said most of the people who had attempted suicide and changed their mind said that the smile of stranger is what did the trick. He said after he read that he decided to smile at absolutely everyone he got near because if it all takes is a smile to save a life he wanted to save as many as he could.

That really struck me. We need to be mindful of our actions and how they affect others. As soon as we do this and we begin to love all of our fellow humans whether they agree with us, hurt us, or love us the world will change and be a much happier place.

Thanks for reading.

Peace, love, and happiness always,

K