Don’t bullshit people, especially those you care about

Hello everyone, sorry I have been gone so long. There was a vacation in there and some other things. Those of you who know me personally know what those other things are already.

caution_sign_no_bullshit_zone_stickerI wanted to share something that came into my head the other day. Someone I care about very much has been feeling down. I don’t have permission to talk about it so I am not going to get too specific or mention names. The person I am talking about feels like they are not where they should be on a project they have been working on for the past year.

I was very supportive and was not lying when I said I was impressed with the amount of progress they made. The uncomfortable part was that it was obvious that it was time for me to tell them something that was not going to make them feel better but had to be said.

You see, I had to say “well, I think a big part of the problem is you keep starting to step over the finish line and you find a reason to take a left turn”. It is never fun to tell someone you care about that they seem to be one of their bigger problems. The project, in this case, is done and ready to go. It has been for months. The problem is the person I am talking about always finds something that “needs to be tweaked” before the launch and advertising can happen.


I finally had to say “stop taking left turns and just do it, you launch a product then perfect it, not perfect it then launch it. Look, it took Microsoft virtually 40 years to perfect their product after they released it”.

If you truly care about someone then you will find yourself at times telling them what they want to hear. Other times you will find yourself telling them what they want you to tell them and then other times you will find yourself having to tell them something they need to hear. Unfortunately at times, the something they need to hear is going to be something you do not want to say or they do not want to hear.

I hate this phrase but man up and do it. Tell them what they need to hear not what they want to hear. Tell them because you care and trust them to react in a calm loving way because they care about you too.

You can trust them to say thank you and take it to heart. Most people will see it as constructive criticism.

Use the skills we have talked about in the past and offer the criticism in a loving thoughtful way. Soften the blow some if you can. After all, it is not easy to accept criticism so we should be mindful about how we offer it to everyone, not just the people we care about.

You see we have a responsibility to our fellow man to be honest, open, and vulnerable with them. This means that at times, we are going to have to tell people what they do not want to hear albeit with tact, grace, and love. Just a friendly reminder that above all we have this responsibility to our friends, and families…the people we love the most.

Peace, love, and happiness always,